Where to begin?

Ok, so, the title for my blog spot is a vision for transformation. This is the ultimate goal for the life of a Christian is it not? To be transformed into the likeness of Christ? Wow, if that isn't a mouthful. So my first thought when I think of this is "absolute failure" and a lifetime of struggles. However, this is not true if I would gain the right perspective and attitude. This, is much easier said than done. I do know that the Scripture says, " I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." What I do not know is why I fail to claim this promise from God. I certainly do know that I can do absolutely nothing without Him. I have tried to live my life the way I thought a Christian should, but tried to do it all in my own power. That failed miserably. I guess I should start with a quick rundown of my testimony. Here goes.

I grew up in a Christian home. I really do not remember what age I was when I made my first profession of salvation. I do remember making a few more professions throughout my teen years. Every time I made a profession, I waited for this "emotion" to hit me and let me know that I was saved. I never did get that "feeling". I guessed then that I just needed to start living my life like a Christian. At first, I would do fine, then as the months wore on, I would grow weary of trying so hard. The true colors would start to shine through. So, I grew up into adulthood still professing to be saved, but all the time knowing that something was not right. When I was 31, my husband and I and our daughter were living in North Dakota where I grew up. For months the Lord had been convicting me of the condition of my heart. Due to some circumstances in our lives, I was at the bottom of the barrel wondering how much more could I really take? I had a lifelong friend that had recently received Christ as her Saviour, and I was amazed at the transformation that had taken place in her life. I started talking to her and asking her questions about her conviction and what had stopped her from being saved with her previous professions. She gave me some Scriptures to read. I started reading and asking God to show me what was going on. Well, one night, I was just literally at the end of myself, and I knelt and asked to God to just take it all, I didn't want any of it anymore. I was done doing it all on my own and needed Him more than ever. Through the process, God showed me that it was nothing I could ever do. I had to give it all to Him and let Him do it. Remember when I talked about waiting for the "emotion"? After I asked the Lord to take my sin and make me a new person, I was overwhelmed with peace and gratitude. All I could say was "Thank you Lord". I literally had no other words but thank you.

So, looking back on my struggle with salvation, I see that I still do the same thing today. I try to be Christ-like, but I have realized that it is ME trying to do it all again. I HAVE to give it to the Lord and let Him do the work in me. So, Lord only knows when and how this transformation will take place, but that is my goal, to see my life transformed into something Christ honoring. I have such a loooooong way to go, but I am willing to allow the Lord to work in me and mold me into His servant.

I ask that you please keep me in your prayers. Satan works so hard at keeping us from being what the Lord would have us to be. If he can't keep us from salvation, he will try to keep us from servanthood. I do not want to be a battle that Satan wins. I envy your prayers on my road to transformation.

...That was all just the spiritual realm of transformation, the physical realm, YIKES!! A whole other story to be told some other time...